STEPS FOR LETTING GO
1. AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT, you, people and situations in your life are exactly the way they are. This is true whether you like it or not.
2. RESISTING AND FIGHTING THIS causes upset. Resisting and avoiding a possible future outcome CREATES FEAR. In fear & upset you shut down; your ability to see clearly is impaired. In this state, it seems as if an external situation is causing the upset. But the upset is being caused by your fighting and resisting the situation.
3. To handle the situation, YOU NEED ACTION, not resistance.
Resistance keeps you from seeing the action you need to take.
4. LETTING GO IS THE INNER ACTION that removes the resistance. Letting go of resistance is the action that restores peace
of mind. This in turn releases the fear and upset. You can then take the action you need to effectively handle the situation. Without fear and upset, you become creative and able to discover solutions. Letting go removes fear and upset so that you can see
what action works.
"Not to forgive is like
drinking poison and expecting
the other person to suffer."
"Forgiveness is the fragrance
that the violet sheds on the heel
that has crushed it.'"
5. To dismiss fear, you have to BE WILLING TO LET YOUR WORST FEARS COME TRUE. ("I am willing to have my worse fear come true.”)
"Expose yourself to your deepest fear. After that you are free." -- Jim Morrison
6. MAKE PEACE WITH THE WAY YOUR LIFE IS. Let go of your demands and expectations for how your life should be. ("I give this my full permission to be exactly the way it is.")
7. TRUST that no matter what happens, you will be okay.
("I will be okay no matter what happens. I trust, just because I say so.")
8. FEEL ALL THE SADNESS of being "not okay" that this situation reactivates. Avoidance of this hurt is what is causing you to resist. The hurt you are resisting is a very specific hurt from the past. It is THE HURT
OF NOT FEELING GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYONE TO LOVE. It is the hurt of feeling too separate from All That IS to love anyone in return. Finding and healing this hurt disappears the need to resist. This hurt is responsible for all your fear, upset and self-sabotage. THIS HURT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL YOUR SUFFERING.
9. Finding and HEALING THIS HURT IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS YOU CAN DO. Set yourself free. Then take the action you need to effectively handle your situation. Take whatever action you need to for your life to be great.
In the end, just three things matter: • How well we lived
• How well we loved
• How well we learned to let go."
-- Jack Kornfield
"Forgiveness is letting go of all hope for a better past."-- Dr. David L. Kupfer, Ph.D.